Bessie Geffen Wilensky
Shloshim Bessie Geffen Wilensky in Newton
It's customary, but not mandatory to note the shloshim of a loved one, but there's no clear cut ceremony to follow. This seems to be one Jewish life-cycle event that is left to us to define.
 
When I realized this I began to think about my mother and how I wanted to celebrate her life. Family, community, being Jewish, Hadassah, Atlanta, and New Orleans all came to mind.
 
Every February in the historic green houses of the Lyman Estate in Waltham there is a camellia show, so I was able to buy a camellia and azaleas in bloom. Last week was Mardi Gras in New Orleans; our local party shop had Mardi Gras beads and a purple, green, and gold mask. We didn't have time to make beignets from scratch, but our local supermarket provided ready-made hechshered bags of dough for fried dough which Sara prepared and powdered with the traditional confectioners sugar. She also made the famous raisin cake which her grandmother (Bessie) and mine (Sara Hene) made for all special occasions.   At Russo's we found  beautiful peaches (my father lovingly referred to my mother as "his Georgia peach"). Shaw's also had French Market coffee completing our refreshments and decor.
 
Zachary Heller spoke about his mother and mine and the Junior Hadassah ladies. Aviva Stern Scheuer added memories of her mom, Reva Ziff Stern, her Aunt Nell Ziff Pekarsky, Aunt Helen Geffen Ziff, and of course my mother who brought them all together through her Junior Hadassah connection. Joel Ziff added to this and reminded us of the section of Zayde Geffen's diary reflecting on the train wreck my mother, Yankee, David, and I were in on the way home from David Geffen's Bar mitzvah and Bert and Esta's engagement in November 1951. He spoke about Zayde Geffen's belief that there had been a miracle that had saved us  in that terrible crash, that somehow God had put the idea in my mother's mind that we should go to the dining car rather than stay in the car where we might have been injured or killed. Joel related that it was the importance of the little things that Zayde did and believed in that he passed on, and that the closeness of the four sisters was the glue that kept the Geffen family together.
 
Felice Gordis and Barry Mesch shared a few words on growing up Jewish in the South. David Gordis told of his trip to Atlanta and of staying with David Geffen en route to meet Felice's family in Tennessee. Reuven Kimelman said a few words about his mother Annette and our Aunt Annette Geffen Raskas and we had a nice tribute from Stanley Raskas (see below). Sara spoke of the connections her grandmother made and her love of Jewish Geography.
 
We thanked everyone for coming together, Ben led a late Maariv service, and we adjourned to the refreshments.
 
Stanley's Tribute:
 
     Bessie Geffen Wilensky was called by many different names in her lifetime. Mother, Grandmother, Sister, Cousin, Devoted Friend. For me and our family in St. Louis she was always Aunt Bessie. For all my siblings and children, the words Aunt and Bessie flowed together naturally as if they were one word. She was a perfect Aunt.

            Bessie Wilensky was one of 8 siblings, each of whom had wonderful individual traits and talents. My earliest recollections of Aunt Bessie come from summers in Atlanta when members of the family would come for the annual visit to our Bubbie and Zadie. Our family made the long car trip from St. Louis and we would meet the other cousins and Aunts and Uncles form all over the country. It was in those days and subsequent Simcha events in Minneapolis, St. Louis, New York, Atlanta and New Orleans that I Had a chance to appreciate and know Aunt Bessie. Even though we were youngsters or teenagers she talked to us and respected us in a manner that made us feel as equals. She always had a smile on her face and was a source of optimism and strength. She was a voice of calmness and fairness in a family filled with many different opinions. Even when she did not agree with someone, you never walked away angry because of the way she expressed her opinion and related it to you.

            At an early age she showed her capacity of sharing with others around her. My Mother Annette was one of those who was a beneficiary The Geffen’s had no extra money to spend when all the children were young but they always tried to see that important values and talents were nurtured. Aunt Bessie received piano lessons and my mother was then taught the piano by Bessie. To this day when I think of all the years of pleasure our family received from my mother’s piano playing I always think of Aunt Bessie. As many of you know I now live in New Rochelle with the last Geffen sibling. Dr. Abraham Geffen. I was visiting him recently and he informed me of the fact that he learned to type at the age of 8. I bet you can guess who his teacher was – that’s right Bessie, his sister.

            As I got older whenever I had a chance to See Aunt Bessie, I never ceased to marvel at her positive attitude and her ability to understand people. Although she had to spend many years without her devoted husband and had to leave New Orleans, she was always a delight to talk to.

            I remember attending David’s Bar mitzvah in New Orleans, Aunt Bessie always had every thing under control and was unflappable regardless of the circumstances. It was obvious to me that her wonderful traits and abilities were appreciated not only by her family but so many members of the Jewish and general community in New Orleans.

            May her memory be a blessing to her children and grandchildren and hopefully we will all lead better lives because we had the opportunity to know and love Aunt Bessie.

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